I cheated and now i feel horrible. I can't sleep and eat

Jan 2022
55
8
Canada
Save it for the Americans/Canadians. The Woke/Cancel culture stuff is you guys. OP is in Romania, I'm in Greece. It's not relevant to this thread.
a man should never marry a woman who is not a virgin

because virgins get instinctual imprinting which creates loyalty and reduces divorce

modern world is ignorant of this ancient biological truth
 
Jul 2021
783
103
London
To be fair, most mental health patients (or just people with a lot of needs in the psychological department in general, whatever) are also sensitive. Before I had access to the resources I have now, I attempted to join several different communities. I found I had a completely different mindset than most of the other participants...I wasn't as fragile in the sense that I was determined to overcome, regardless of who or what was uncomfortable or posed as an obstacle. Many people allow things that could be resolved to hold them back entirely. I do realize that's symptomatic of certain conditions in some cases, but...point is, I think you somewhat have to be sensitive when it comes to this field or these topics, as people are easily stampeded by variables.
Thanks, I was referring to the highly sensitive personality, which is not the same as the sensitivity shown by the mental health patient, such as what you see in autism. And it's hard for me to explain it. Being sensitive can make you proner to anxiety, they said, but reactive anxiety is actually pretty normal, in the sense that it is a warning sign that we highly sensitive people get for things that are quite worrying actually. To compare that kind of reactive anxiety and sensitivity to someone who is not always aware of the surroundings I am not sure if it is entirely correct, but nevertheless it is true that some patients such as autistic patients can demonstrate some sensitivity, but it is not an emotional or relational (with the environment as a whole) type of sensitivity, but more about overwhelming information which can be in the form of noise or multiple communication venues. Not sure if it makes sense. But definitely, it is entirely possible that trauma can cause an increased sensitivity in the pediatric patient too, that for sure, and I believe that's what you were referring to perhaps? I couldn't say that a narcissist is sensitive for instance to the surroundings, as Vaknin himself who is a narcissist and he wrote a book on narcissism, claims himself that he is sensitively unaware, and also socially unaware. Imagine someone like that being targeted by a psychopath-bad person how they are going to end up, but not just the narcissist, the psychotic patient too, how sensitive is a psychotic patient, yes, initially may have been sensitive, but eventually that is lost, due to the lifestyle change, due to the trauma, due to aging, taking the wrong medications, recreational abuse of painkillers, then at that stage, there's numbing of the sensitivity of the patient, and because most patients that are being treated are numbed by medications, then it's hard to imagine that type of sensory processing that is typical of the healthy patient, which yes it is heartbreaking, but the cause for that kind of ailment to begin with is, abuse; psychopaths do that.

Yes, don't worry, because this HSP thing is difficult to understand, believe and accept, most psychologists don't even know what it is, but I know two famous ones know, and one I came across knew too, but it definitely is a new thing too, like 20 years ago you'd learn about Freud Jung, Breuer, Hare etc., now you learn about Aron, Beck and Narcissism etc. I think it is quite a new thing, and being that it's not a mental disorder, most psychologists don't care about it, they only care, perhaps in the context of anxiety and depression.

An example, tomorrow the hsp teenager has to perform at school some Idk recital, and is extremely worried about the performance. One would think "oh the pupil is self-conscious and socially anxious), but isn't the actual reason why the pupil is worried. The pupil is worried about things going wrong, prior and during the performance, which yes causes some form of anxiety, but it isn't that of social anxiety, I mean, the pupil isn't afraid of the public, but is worried about things going wrong for fatalistic events, which sometimes are kinda weird, too, but they do happen, and something interesting about this HSP thing that I find horrible in some aspects is that we are never wrong about what might happen next, for instance one time I got the feeling that during this recital the microphone was going to break, and I'd have to perform without, and oddly, it did happen, because there were extremely subtle cues in the environment that the microphone might stop working, even if I didn't realise in that moment that I had caught on subtle cues in the environment. It is a curse and a blessing. I don't know if it can be compared with mental health patients, as I think it is more about choices too and lifestyle as well. Like, the HSP might become depressed or anxious, which are states that in a way make you want to get better, but the other mental health conditions don't really make you want to be better, and I think that's another characteristic of the HSP, the fact that we tend to be optimistic or the least realistic, rather than the pessimist who doesn't want to get better, and that may be why we tend to be depressed when mentally ill or anxious, than other mental health disorders, but I am not an expert on this! Elaine T. Aron is the actual expert. I only happen to have this personality trait, so yes, I think she might explain it better, and also reading her books than I ever will.
 
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Jul 2021
783
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Save it for the Americans/Canadians. The Woke/Cancel culture stuff is you guys. OP is in Romania, I'm in Greece. It's not relevant to this thread.
ad hom fallacy

Ad Hominem
(Attacking the person): This fallacy occurs when, instead of addressing someone's argument or position, you irrelevantly attack the person or some aspect of the person who is making the argument.


try making some counter arguments next time. until then all my points stand as true

STD rates are higher than ever

marriage rates are lower than ever

kids are being raised without two parents which is proven to be harmful

sex before marriage doesnt work. people dont get married when they are horny they jerk off

stop believing the liberalism feminism narrative crap, its nothing but mental illness
Sorry, I really don't know what makes you think that being raised by 100 people is less harmful than being raised by none, the cinderella syndrome is real here. Cinderella syndrome is not really a mental health illness, but yes it is adopted by malignant narcissists all the time, Idk if you are a malignant narcissist or what, but you write really very strange stuff... and yes, I agree with Phoenix again that malignant narcissism isn't really a mental illness though, and Idk if you are really an INTJ, but it seemed you never answered on that matter either, so I kinda forgot about checking it again.
 
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Jul 2021
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[QUOTE="Phoenix, post: 82404, member: 3064",
Save it for the Americans/Canadians. The Woke/Cancel culture stuff is you guys. OP is in Romania, I'm in Greece. It's not relevant to this thread.
[/QUOTE]
Hare is a great Canadian psychologist-criminologist, and Aron-Beck are great American psychologists, I didn't know about this culture thing, but I am not so proud of my European culture either lol. We are the best discriminators worldwide too, and it is contagious, even those of us who are good eventually get impacted by the stereotypical negativity of our psychopaths... but we must resist, as the real cultural issue is psychopathy, in my view, not really the people, haha, what you think :). I think nationalism is a way to heal certain wounds, but as a HSP I prefer to suffer than to justify those who hurt us and others and self-gaslight, or self-deceive that we are the bad people, and others are all great people, I mean what I meant with you being sensitive I didn't mean it in a negative way, but in a positive way, in the sense that some things are not our responsibility because we are sensitive, but that we make other people's responsibility our own, which isn't really our task.
If a person is responsible for their wellbeing, all we can do is advise we can't make the person follow our advice, and so more than that, can't be done. In the end it is a responsible choice to take our advice than another advice. More than that, can't be done, I guess? I mean, if someone gives me good advice, I listen and love it and rarely happens, now we are giving here not the best advice, but certainly not bad either, so perhaps being realistic about who we are is the best, and yes, we are sensitive.
 
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Jun 2020
62
38
Greece
Sorry, I really don't know what makes you think that being raised by 100 people is less harmful than being raised by none, the cinderella syndrome is real here. Cinderella syndrome is not really a mental health illness, but yes it is adopted by malignant narcissists all the time, Idk if you are a malignant narcissist or what, but you write really very strange stuff... and yes, I agree with Phoenix again that malignant narcissism isn't really a mental illness though, and Idk if you are really an INTJ, but it seemed you never answered on that matter either, so I kinda forgot about checking it again.
Idk, sounds to me like a certain archetype which is this sort of narrow-minded nu-MBTI pre-teen who is overly caught up in some cringeworthy watered down pop psychology meme version of what was SUPPOSED to be Jung's work, but is far from it. Some of them grow out of it. For some reason, though, a lot of kids who get a hold of the nu-MBTI, which idealizes INTJ in a very grandiose/narcissistic way, start acting this way for a while. Now you've got me thinking and wondering, though...whether it's actually just young narcissists taking up this archetype to identify with and inflate their (low) self-esteem/egocentrism. Some of them do grow out of all of it, though, so I don't think that accounts for them all. The ones who grow out of it...99 out of 100 times, they're not INTJ, and they type differently later, after they realize MBTI is not an IQ test, INTJ is not a new Mensa, and those 4 letters aren't the key to winning chess tournaments.

Jung was a psychologist, and his psychological work never belonged in public hands. Making it widespread was a huge mistake. People twist and contort his theories and then treat them like a scientific Bible.

IDK, anyway, I've seen this kind of person about a million times on the internet. I've watched many people change their entire personalities to reflect nu-MBTI more. “We are like shop windows in which we are continually arranging, concealing or illuminating the supposed qualities other ascribe to us – in order to deceive ourselves.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
 
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Jun 2020
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Thanks, I was referring to the highly sensitive personality, which is not the same as the sensitivity shown by the mental health patient, such as what you see in autism. And it's hard for me to explain it. Being sensitive can make you proner to anxiety, they said, but reactive anxiety is actually pretty normal, in the sense that it is a warning sign that we highly sensitive people get for things that are quite worrying actually. To compare that kind of reactive anxiety and sensitivity to someone who is not always aware of the surroundings I am not sure if it is entirely correct, but nevertheless it is true that some patients such as autistic patients can demonstrate some sensitivity, but it is not an emotional or relational (with the environment as a whole) type of sensitivity, but more about overwhelming information which can be in the form of noise or multiple communication venues. Not sure if it makes sense. But definitely, it is entirely possible that trauma can cause an increased sensitivity in the pediatric patient too, that for sure, and I believe that's what you were referring to perhaps? I couldn't say that a narcissist is sensitive for instance to the surroundings, as Vaknin himself who is a narcissist and he wrote a book on narcissism, claims himself that he is sensitively unaware, and also socially unaware. Imagine someone like that being targeted by a psychopath-bad person how they are going to end up, but not just the narcissist, the psychotic patient too, how sensitive is a psychotic patient, yes, initially may have been sensitive, but eventually that is lost, due to the lifestyle change, due to the trauma, due to aging, taking the wrong medications, recreational abuse of painkillers, then at that stage, there's numbing of the sensitivity of the patient, and because most patients that are being treated are numbed by medications, then it's hard to imagine that type of sensory processing that is typical of the healthy patient, which yes it is heartbreaking, but the cause for that kind of ailment to begin with is, abuse; psychopaths do that.

Yes, don't worry, because this HSP thing is difficult to understand, believe and accept, most psychologists don't even know what it is, but I know two famous ones know, and one I came across knew too, but it definitely is a new thing too, like 20 years ago you'd learn about Freud Jung, Breuer, Hare etc., now you learn about Aron, Beck and Narcissism etc. I think it is quite a new thing, and being that it's not a mental disorder, most psychologists don't care about it, they only care, perhaps in the context of anxiety and depression.

An example, tomorrow the hsp teenager has to perform at school some Idk recital, and is extremely worried about the performance. One would think "oh the pupil is self-conscious and socially anxious), but isn't the actual reason why the pupil is worried. The pupil is worried about things going wrong, prior and during the performance, which yes causes some form of anxiety, but it isn't that of social anxiety, I mean, the pupil isn't afraid of the public, but is worried about things going wrong for fatalistic events, which sometimes are kinda weird, too, but they do happen, and something interesting about this HSP thing that I find horrible in some aspects is that we are never wrong about what might happen next, for instance one time I got the feeling that during this recital the microphone was going to break, and I'd have to perform without, and oddly, it did happen, because there were extremely subtle cues in the environment that the microphone might stop working, even if I didn't realise in that moment that I had caught on subtle cues in the environment. It is a curse and a blessing. I don't know if it can be compared with mental health patients, as I think it is more about choices too and lifestyle as well. Like, the HSP might become depressed or anxious, which are states that in a way make you want to get better, but the other mental health conditions don't really make you want to be better, and I think that's another characteristic of the HSP, the fact that we tend to be optimistic or the least realistic, rather than the pessimist who doesn't want to get better, and that may be why we tend to be depressed when mentally ill or anxious, than other mental health disorders, but I am not an expert on this! Elaine T. Aron is the actual expert. I only happen to have this personality trait, so yes, I think she might explain it better, and also reading her books than I ever will.
Ahhhh, you meant HSP, ok. Oops. Hmm, yeah, I had never heard of it until socially interacting with professionals and students of the psychology field more frequently. I certainly never heard of it from uni. I do relate to HSP in the sensory overload sense, too. The thing is, it's weird for me, as I also have problems with maladaptive daydreaming and Inattentive ADHD, which of course, makes me too inside of my head and less attentive to details. In my case, there is a certain threshold. At a baseline level, I am less aware of surroundings, but once those sounds are prominent enough - such as babies crying, babies screaming while playing, banging noises, yelling (including just people having fun), etc. - I become so overstimulated. I definitely am way more sensitive than average to violence, cruelty, etc. though also.

I love Vaknin's work! I think it is amazing what he is doing for the field, being that he is someone with narcissism. It'd be great if more narcissists did the same so that there is not as much of a problem with projection, though. I like how he challenges many accepted beliefs/views we have about some things, though, too.

My time is limited. I'll get back to this soon. I love what you wrote about the differences in reasons behind things, and how that is misunderstood, though. I will comment more later.

BTW, we need to move this conversation elsewhere...we are derailing this person's thread too much.
 
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Jul 2021
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Ahhhh, you meant HSP, ok. Oops. Hmm, yeah, I had never heard of it until socially interacting with professionals and students of the psychology field more frequently. I certainly never heard of it from uni. I do relate to HSP in the sensory overload sense, too. The thing is, it's weird for me, as I also have problems with maladaptive daydreaming and Inattentive ADHD, which of course, makes me too inside of my head and less attentive to details. In my case, there is a certain threshold. At a baseline level, I am less aware of surroundings, but once those sounds are prominent enough - such as babies crying, babies screaming while playing, banging noises, yelling (including just people having fun), etc. - I become so overstimulated. I definitely am way more sensitive than average to violence, cruelty, etc. though also.

I love Vaknin's work! I think it is amazing what he is doing for the field, being that he is someone with narcissism. It'd be great if more narcissists did the same so that there is not as much of a problem with projection, though. I like how he challenges many accepted beliefs/views we have about some things, though, too.

My time is limited. I'll get back to this soon. I love what you wrote about the differences in reasons behind things, and how that is misunderstood, though. I will comment more later.

BTW, we need to move this conversation elsewhere...we are derailing this person's thread too much.
Idk, as can't assess someone online!

I am not a Vaknin fan, but I think his 2004 work, is actually ok. Yes, ADHD is not really related with the HSP, usually they are opposites, but as long as you don't get medicated for it, as I think medications is what turns ADHD in ODD, as some say, ah ADHD is relatable to ODD, but really it is not, if you don't give them the medications you give them. So have you taken any medications or were you treated differently, I think with ADHD there's therapy that helps, as again some medications really don't help.
 
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Jul 2021
783
103
London
BTW, we need to move this conversation elsewhere...we are derailing this person's thread too much.
I think some users only come post a question and expect an answer. Most of them don't show up again, if you check some of the posts are really old. Yes, I don't think you are a HSP based on this one sentence. I think this post shows a mild form of grandiosity, as you are attempting to control another person's actions, mine, so in fact I am not sure that you are an autistic person either. I can recommend a psychologist who is near you, who can properly assess you. Sorry can't help, but I wish you the best of luck. I think all control issues might stem from grandiosity or the strange belief that we believe we can break other people's boundaries and tell them what to do. See, I post stuff, I always talk about myself in the first person, that way it shows I am not controlling them and they don't think I come from a place of superiority, but from a place of equality and mutual respect. I am not the only one who does this. I understand where you are coming from, you want attention, you are young etc., but yes, it sometimes isn't very helpful to those surrounding you, that you do this, and then you will inevitably end up towards who are more narcissistic, than those who are not. As sadists enjoy this behaviour, I can't tell you how many suggestible people I have avoided as really I am a perfectionist, sorry, I am! But again, I don't treat people that way, unless in return lol, so I do prefer someone who treats me as well as I treated them. Good luck nevertheless, with fixing the issues that you said you need fixing.

In fact it was already weird that you were blaming all Canadians and Americans based on one post, I thought it was a response to that bad post, but really, maybe it's just what you think of everyone a priori, which is why assessments can't be done online, that is why I can't do any assessments, and I also think I won't post on here, any longer, as it's wasting my time too a bit.
 
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