I cheated and now i feel horrible. I can't sleep and eat

MikeListeral · Jan 27, 2022

Usedandabused said:
INTJ is always seeking for INFPs

ya because we like the support

Usedandabused said:
usually they have the ASPD profile

ya because when an INTJ speaks everyone else feels stupid

but most people IRL dont have the intellectual ability to even listen to an INTJ

Usedandabused said:
Are you sure you are a INTJ?

100% sure

Usedandabused said:
a judgmental kind of personality or perceiving.

J's mind formulates conclusions and imposes those conclusion on reality

Usedandabused said:
they are 16 types and imagine how many types of personalities are out there

psychologies job is to separate what is nature and what is nurture. this is why the MBTI is so valuable because its nature/genetic and will never change throughout your life

Usedandabused said:
It is hard to explain why a lot of psychopaths I came across were INTJs

reduced emotions enhances the intellect and instincts. so the person becomes a walking intellect driven by power(instincts)

Usedandabused said:
but someone who'd be ready to do brainscans

mind can change the brain through neuroplasticity

Usedandabused said:
so I highly doubt you are one, but if you claim you are, then I'll agree with you.

Dominance and submission - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Phoenix · Jan 30, 2022

MikeListeral said:
The root of all modern womens problems is having sex before marriage.

But modern women dont want to hear this. They call it "slut shaming". But that is like saying the flashing engine light is the problem lol. No the flashing light is warning you that there is a deeper problem.

Two virgins should marry for life and work out all problems.

Romantic love only lasts a few years then changes into comfort love. So pursuing romantic love is a lost cause. It's just a drug addiction. You will go from relationship to relationship every few years chasing the next high.

I don't call it slut shaming, but I disagree with you. I actually think quite the opposite is true, that trying to force abstinence onto yourself (if you have a high libido) makes people desire to marry for the wrong reasons. It affects your thinking, makes you more vulnerable to misleading feelings such as infatuation with someone you shouldn't be with (since lust enters the mix also). What you describe here is turning to sex for the wrong reasons. That doesn't make all sex in general bad.

Phoenix · Jan 30, 2022

Oh lord, one of the laymen who got a hold of watered down memes that contort Jung's works made their way here...and is using it to bolster their ego. Read more Jung, he has some interesting things...like ego death.

Phoenix · Jan 30, 2022

alecsandr.1 said:
I've been with this boy for almost 4 years.

I went through a lot at first and had a tumultuous start. He started a business when we were very young and eventually devoted himself entirely to the business. He never stayed with me, I never went out and all he did was be careful with that business. I had a lot of discussions on this side and he explained to me that he can't leave his business and that every moment is precious for he to grow.
He is not a bad person at all, he is a very good man. He respected me all the time but I felt very alone with him. He made it clear to me that he would never be able to be as devoted as I wanted him to be. It seemed like I wanted too much but I just wanted to spend time together as a couple ... going on vacation and going out from time to time. He could never offer me that and I always waited for him to come home from work every night and we didn't do anything together.
One day I met someone online (we had known each other for many years through mutual friends) and I totally fell in love. This boy was funny and he seemed to be able to give me what I wanted. I started talking to him and I fell in love and then I told the current one that I want to move. In the 3 weeks I waited to move, I always talked to the other boy. Long story short, I moved in and argued a lot with boy B. I found out he was actually a psychopath and he tried to hurt me. He wrote to my ex and showed him everything I did, conversations and absolutely everything. Now I feel horrible, my ex doesn't want to hear from me anymore and he really hates me. I don't know what else to do, I can't sleep, I can't eat because I'm guilty. All the memories with my ex press me and I keep thinking that I was a horrible person. What can I do?

Alecs, what you're going through sounds very emotionally difficult. First of all, I just want to say, it's okay to feel how you feel about things. The negative feelings are natural, and ought to be processed rather than suppressed. You should allow yourself room to grieve and search for (healthy forms of) comfort. Talk to someone about things when you're upset, or write about how you feel in a journal, or go for a walk/jog, whatever helps you with your pain. Just don't let anyone make you think you shouldn't feel some way. Every person is entitled to experience their own life experiences, even if they feel like things are their own fault. People make mistakes and are entitled to experience regret. I think that is something that helps us to avoid repeating our mistakes.

I think that when we do not feel forgiven by someone we wronged, sometimes it makes it even more difficult to forgive our own selves. I'm not sure if that holds true for you. Actually, it's hard for me to think of something helpful to say at all without asking you a lot of questions and digging in to find the roots of things so that I am able to offer some suggestions that might work for you personally. This might seem like an obvious answer at first glance, but before you think "the part where I cheated, duh" (lol) give this question deeper thought: what aspect of the cheating in particular is troubling you? For example...is it more so the pain you've caused him, or is it more value-centric, aka the fact that you did something you feel is so wrong? Is it exacerbated by some embarrassment/humiliation/violation entailed in having your private conversations exposed? What specifically is it that you are thinking about when you feel pained by all of this?

MikeListeral · Jan 30, 2022

Phoenix said:
I don't call it slut shaming, but I disagree with you. I actually think quite the opposite is true, that trying to force abstinence onto yourself (if you have a high libido) makes people desire to marry for the wrong reasons. It affects your thinking, makes you more vulnerable to misleading feelings such as infatuation with someone you shouldn't be with (since lust enters the mix also). What you describe here is turning to sex for the wrong reasons. That doesn't make all sex in general bad.

STD rates are higher than ever

marriage rates are lower than ever

kids are being raised without two parents which is proven to be harmful

sex before marriage doesnt work. people dont get married when they are horny they jerk off

stop believing the liberalism feminism narrative crap, its nothing but mental illness

Phoenix · Feb 1, 2022

MikeListeral said:
STD rates are higher than ever

marriage rates are lower than ever

kids are being raised without two parents which is proven to be harmful

sex before marriage doesnt work. people dont get married when they are horny they jerk off

stop believing the liberalism feminism narrative crap, its nothing but mental illness

If you have even a shred of decency in you, please take your rant to a different place on the forum. Somewhere that it will be more appropriate. OP might feel uncomfortable responding so that they will be able to get some input due to your off-topic rants.

Usedandabused · Feb 1, 2022

Phoenix said:
If you have even a shred of decency in you, please take your rant to a different place on the forum. Somewhere that it will be more appropriate. OP might feel uncomfortable responding so that they will be able to get some input due to your off-topic rants.

You are like most healthcare professionals, we are just sensitive, I saw my doctor today, same too. Controlling the anxiety and depression isn't so easy, but I want to try it.

MikeListeral · Feb 1, 2022

Phoenix said:
If you have even a shred of decency in you, please take your rant to a different place on the forum. Somewhere that it will be more appropriate. OP might feel uncomfortable responding so that they will be able to get some input due to your off-topic rants.

ad hom fallacy

Ad Hominem
(Attacking the person): This fallacy occurs when, instead of addressing someone's argument or position, you irrelevantly attack the person or some aspect of the person who is making the argument.

try making some counter arguments next time. until then all my points stand as true

STD rates are higher than ever

marriage rates are lower than ever

kids are being raised without two parents which is proven to be harmful

sex before marriage doesnt work. people dont get married when they are horny they jerk off

stop believing the liberalism feminism narrative crap, its nothing but mental illness

Phoenix · Feb 2, 2022

Usedandabused said:
You are like most healthcare professionals, we are just sensitive, I saw my doctor today, same too. Controlling the anxiety and depression isn't so easy, but I want to try it.

To be fair, most mental health patients (or just people with a lot of needs in the psychological department in general, whatever) are also sensitive. Before I had access to the resources I have now, I attempted to join several different communities. I found I had a completely different mindset than most of the other participants...I wasn't as fragile in the sense that I was determined to overcome, regardless of who or what was uncomfortable or posed as an obstacle. Many people allow things that could be resolved to hold them back entirely. I do realize that's symptomatic of certain conditions in some cases, but...point is, I think you somewhat have to be sensitive when it comes to this field or these topics, as people are easily stampeded by variables.

Phoenix · Feb 2, 2022

MikeListeral said:
stop believing the liberalism feminism narrative crap, its nothing but mental illness

Save it for the Americans/Canadians. The Woke/Cancel culture stuff is you guys. OP is in Romania, I'm in Greece. It's not relevant to this thread.