I cheated and now i feel horrible. I can't sleep and eat

Jan 2022
1
2
Romania
I've been with this boy for almost 4 years.

I went through a lot at first and had a tumultuous start. He started a business when we were very young and eventually devoted himself entirely to the business. He never stayed with me, I never went out and all he did was be careful with that business. I had a lot of discussions on this side and he explained to me that he can't leave his business and that every moment is precious for he to grow.
He is not a bad person at all, he is a very good man. He respected me all the time but I felt very alone with him. He made it clear to me that he would never be able to be as devoted as I wanted him to be. It seemed like I wanted too much but I just wanted to spend time together as a couple ... going on vacation and going out from time to time. He could never offer me that and I always waited for him to come home from work every night and we didn't do anything together.
One day I met someone online (we had known each other for many years through mutual friends) and I totally fell in love. This boy was funny and he seemed to be able to give me what I wanted. I started talking to him and I fell in love and then I told the current one that I want to move. In the 3 weeks I waited to move, I always talked to the other boy. Long story short, I moved in and argued a lot with boy B. I found out he was actually a psychopath and he tried to hurt me. He wrote to my ex and showed him everything I did, conversations and absolutely everything. Now I feel horrible, my ex doesn't want to hear from me anymore and he really hates me. I don't know what else to do, I can't sleep, I can't eat because I'm guilty. All the memories with my ex press me and I keep thinking that I was a horrible person. What can I do?
 
Aug 2021
395
193
Texas, USA
First, you are not a horrible person. None of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. Do not be deceived by social media, all those perfect looking moments are just seconds out of a twenty four hour day. We all have our ups and downs! You need to forgive yourself, and if you have trouble doing that, try talking to a counselor, minister, friend, or trusted family member. Forgive yourself, move on, and try not to make the same mistakes over and over again, but learn from them. Some of our best lessons come from the mistakes we have made! If the door has closed on this relationship, there are many others out there to explore...BUT, you might stay away from online dating, try mutual friends instead, and remember, love does not always strike like lightning, more commonly it starts with friendship and progresses into a deeper relationship. (goes all the way back to Soccrates) Join sports clubs, music clubs, whatever you enjoy and look for people who share common interests with yours, friendship first, then love...
Best of luck to you,
Ivery
 
Jul 2021
783
103
London
I've been with this boy for almost 4 years.

I went through a lot at first and had a tumultuous start. He started a business when we were very young and eventually devoted himself entirely to the business. He never stayed with me, I never went out and all he did was be careful with that business. I had a lot of discussions on this side and he explained to me that he can't leave his business and that every moment is precious for he to grow.
He is not a bad person at all, he is a very good man. He respected me all the time but I felt very alone with him. He made it clear to me that he would never be able to be as devoted as I wanted him to be. It seemed like I wanted too much but I just wanted to spend time together as a couple ... going on vacation and going out from time to time. He could never offer me that and I always waited for him to come home from work every night and we didn't do anything together.
One day I met someone online (we had known each other for many years through mutual friends) and I totally fell in love. This boy was funny and he seemed to be able to give me what I wanted. I started talking to him and I fell in love and then I told the current one that I want to move. In the 3 weeks I waited to move, I always talked to the other boy. Long story short, I moved in and argued a lot with boy B. I found out he was actually a psychopath and he tried to hurt me. He wrote to my ex and showed him everything I did, conversations and absolutely everything. Now I feel horrible, my ex doesn't want to hear from me anymore and he really hates me. I don't know what else to do, I can't sleep, I can't eat because I'm guilty. All the memories with my ex press me and I keep thinking that I was a horrible person. What can I do?
The question is whether the third party is remorseful or not, and usually the answer is not, that can make things dangerous. If you are remorseful, it is unlikely the other person will be remorseful, so I already know it is going to be big trouble. And reading the last lines, I already know big big trouble. It is psychology, and psychologists do studies on this stuff and they know.
 
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Jan 2022
55
8
Canada
The root of all modern womens problems is having sex before marriage.

But modern women dont want to hear this. They call it "slut shaming". But that is like saying the flashing engine light is the problem lol. No the flashing light is warning you that there is a deeper problem.

Two virgins should marry for life and work out all problems.

Romantic love only lasts a few years then changes into comfort love. So pursuing romantic love is a lost cause. It's just a drug addiction. You will go from relationship to relationship every few years chasing the next high.
 
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Jul 2021
783
103
London
The root of all modern womens problems is having sex before marriage.

But modern women dont want to hear this. They call it "slut shaming". But that is like saying the flashing engine light is the problem lol. No the flashing light is the warning you that there is a deeper problem.

Two virgins should marry for life and work out all problems.

Romantic love only lasts a few years then changes into comfort love. So pursuing romantic love is a lost cause. It's just a drug addiction. You will go from relationship to relationship every few years chasing the next high.
Well, this forum is for people suffering with an actual mental disorder, you suffer from none, since psychopathy is not on any psychology manual, I recommend you join the psychopathy forum instead. All you can try is serotonin depletion therapy, before your condition becomes worse. Have you offended already? Perhaps there you can have fun bullying this or that person, but this is for people who suffer from real mental health issues.
 
Jan 2022
55
8
Canada
Well, this forum is for people suffering with an actual mental disorder, you suffer from none, since psychopathy is not on any psychology manual, I recommend you join the psychopathy forum instead. All you can try is serotonin depletion therapy, before your condition becomes worse. Have you offended already? Perhaps there you can have fun bullying this or that person, but this is for people who suffer from real mental health issues.
this is not a mental health forum. this is a psychology forum. two different things

mental health forum is here. Mental Health Forum

although i dont recommend that mental health forum, its run like communism lol
 
Jul 2021
783
103
London
this is not a mental health forum. this is a psychology forum. two different things

mental health forum is here. Mental Health Forum

although i dont recommend that mental health forum, its run like communism lol
Idk that forum. Are you autistic by any chance? Autistic people are sort of misunderstood. Autism and psychopathy-narcissism share some similarities, but autistic people react to emotions whereas there is no reactivity in the narcissist or the psychopath, also the cruelty is very abusive in the psychopath-narcissist, but isn't in the autistic. I do think the narcissist lacks intelligence too, perhaps, as I dealt with one today, and yes, they sort of are that way today. I am done with them. The autistic is the only one who would enjoy trying to calm down a psychopath or narcissist, I must admit I am not able to do that. Unfortunately, they sacrifice me to achieve that result, and ok, but I guess they get things done. I'd like to see more autistic people hired, instead of narcissists and psychopaths, and hopefully we will get there someday soon. We HSPs are not good at solving things with psychopaths and narcissists, as personally I shut off the psychopath or narcissist, I just find them stupid, the autistic misinterprets that as me being "arrogant", the empathetic individual however understands. Yes, the lack of empathy is a big issue with autistic people I guess, but yes, it is rare that they offend, but they do on occasion, and yes I think the mistake is sometimes we think of autistic as extremely intelligent and intellectual, but it's not the case, sometimes, which can be a put off to sapiosexuals, but great for a psychopathic predator.
 
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Jan 2022
55
8
Canada
Idk that forum. Are you autistic by any chance? Autistic people are sort of misunderstood. Autism and psychopathy-narcissism share some similarities, but autistic people react to emotions whereas there is no reactivity in the narcissist or the psychopath, also the cruelty is very abusive in the psychopath-narcissist, but isn't in the autistic. I do think the narcissist lacks intelligence too, perhaps, as I dealt with one today, and yes, they sort of are that way today. I am done with them. The autistic is the only one who would enjoy trying to calm down a psychopath or narcissist, I must admit I am not able to do that. Unfortunately, they sacrifice me to achieve that result, and ok, but I guess they get things done. I'd like to see more autistic people hired, instead of narcissists and psychopaths, and hopefully we will get there someday soon. We HSPs are not good at solving things with psychopaths and narcissists, as personally I shut off the psychopath or narcissist, I just find them stupid, the autistic misinterprets that as me being "arrogant", the empathetic individual however understands. Yes, the lack of empathy is a big issue with autistic people I guess, but yes, it is rare that they offend, but they do on occasion, and yes I think the mistake is sometimes we think of autistic as extremely intelligent and intellectual, but it's not the case, sometimes, which can be a put off to sapiosexuals, but great for a psychopathic predator.
im an INTJ

and you sound like an INFP

all living things are hardwired to seek power. its natural. check out he first chapter in jordan petersons book
 
Jul 2021
783
103
London
im an INTJ

and you sound like an INFP

all living things are hardwired to seek power. its natural. check out he first chapter in jordan petersons book
No, I am not a INFP, but I know the INTJ is always seeking for INFPs. INTJ is not autistic though, it is something else, usually they have the ASPD profile, although I have seen a couple of psychopaths. Some INFPs would be disastrous for you, so my advice is to stay clear.

You really do well with other INTJs. Are you sure you are a INTJ? Unless you were pretending to stay calm, it is unlikely that you have the INTJ profile. I mean, are you actually this tolerant? Perhaps you are the INFP in fact. I can imagine an INFP wanting to be a INTJ tbh... and no comment on that as it's my off duty day, let's call it. Generally they can pretend to be calm and tolerant online for instance, like the lion being quiet and lurking for their preys, but eventually it does come out. So you need to figure if you really are a judgmental kind of personality or perceiving. The first will be repressing the emotions, the second will be empathetic. The "N" side of things can make someone autistic, but not necessarily. In the end we are all autistic if we think about it, since society has failed, when you have the psychopath in the society, we all become autistic, because we cannot socialise, as it would be too dangerous for us. The issue with these Myers Briggs personality tests is that they are 16 types and imagine how many types of personalities are out there, a lot more, so it's hard to cover them all and put them within just 16 groups, they are just an extra tool, and perhaps one question will determine whether you are a perceiving or a judging personality, but it can also be that the question is not asked properly, or you aren't full sure of it yourself, or doesn't really apply to you, etc., and so based on that you will get that result instead of another. Being judging is not negative, but within the INTJ profile it somehow seems to be.

It is hard to explain why a lot of psychopaths I came across were INTJs, but I am sure Isabel Myers could. I really hope for you that you are not a INTJ and if you are, I explained this is for actual psychological issues, then psychopath is really a condition, but it cannot be treated, as isn't a mental illness, although they have observed these high serotonin, pharmacologically, and there must be tests, such as brain scans to understand, but someone who'd be ready to do brainscans wouldn't really be a psychopath to begin with. The psychopath is pretty self-unaware, I saw one two days ago, she thought she was God's gift, and that she was helping people by being harmful to people, a joke. Very high scores in narcissism too. They have had had a lifetime of enabling. And nevermind, people cover up so it is best to avoid them, so I highly doubt you are one, but if you claim you are, then I'll agree with you.
 
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