Just to give some key facts:
- I have been friends with that person for several years, we get along well and like to talk about deep things as well.
- I feel like they understand me on a level none of my other friends do, but in turn lack some of the basic "friendship like qualities" all of my other close friends have.
- said person once told me that I am the only friend that they feel they can trust, I trust them too but not completely, because I don't really know what is going on inside their head. As I am a very open person and sorround myself with people who are open as well, this can sometimes become a little frustrating.
- I know that it's not my job to change someone, and I happen to know that they have / have had some problems, many of them coming from their past. The person grew up with their mother only, their dad left when they were young and even though the person is aware that this has probably had some traumatizing effects on them, it seems to be something they are still struggling with and, to some point, stuggling to acknowledge as well
- I used to be able to distance myself emotionally from this person a lot better, and it was a lot easier to give them space when I realized that they had to spend some time on their own. Due to recent circumstances though, I am currently seeing that person very often.
- I would consider myself an empathetic person who is always there for their friends, I like to listen to their problems and feelings and like doing so as well. Sometimes, the way the people around me feel also influences the way I feel, to the point where I don't even know how I actually feel anymore.. which is honestly really exhausting.
All in all, I would like to know if there is a way to find a healthy balance between worrying and caring for said someone, and letting them go at the same time. I would like to keep them at a certain length emotionally, because I realize that it really drains my own happiness. That person once told me that they like to be alone whenever they feel down in order to protect others from their negative feelings, unfortunately that doesn't work for me. I want them to talk and open up to me, and I know that I can't force them to do so, so I try to be as patient as I can. Whenever they decide that they do want to talk to me, it makes me feel happy and relieved, but this person's mood changes so often that it totally confuses my mental state as well. I have a theory that this person never really had any real friends and always had to deal with their emotions alone, so they are not really used to being an important part of someone's life. As they have learned to get along on their own, they might feel as if I'm smothering them, which I am trying to avoid of course.
Did anyone ever had any similar experiences and gathered some ideas how one can emotionally detach oneself from someone like this without ignoring them and getting out of touch completely?
I also feel like I might be highly sensitive, especially when it comes to emotions.. so yeah, this is the reason why I'm writing this. The whole situation is really exhausting, and I know it's not the other person's fault...
- I have been friends with that person for several years, we get along well and like to talk about deep things as well.
- I feel like they understand me on a level none of my other friends do, but in turn lack some of the basic "friendship like qualities" all of my other close friends have.
- said person once told me that I am the only friend that they feel they can trust, I trust them too but not completely, because I don't really know what is going on inside their head. As I am a very open person and sorround myself with people who are open as well, this can sometimes become a little frustrating.
- I know that it's not my job to change someone, and I happen to know that they have / have had some problems, many of them coming from their past. The person grew up with their mother only, their dad left when they were young and even though the person is aware that this has probably had some traumatizing effects on them, it seems to be something they are still struggling with and, to some point, stuggling to acknowledge as well
- I used to be able to distance myself emotionally from this person a lot better, and it was a lot easier to give them space when I realized that they had to spend some time on their own. Due to recent circumstances though, I am currently seeing that person very often.
- I would consider myself an empathetic person who is always there for their friends, I like to listen to their problems and feelings and like doing so as well. Sometimes, the way the people around me feel also influences the way I feel, to the point where I don't even know how I actually feel anymore.. which is honestly really exhausting.
All in all, I would like to know if there is a way to find a healthy balance between worrying and caring for said someone, and letting them go at the same time. I would like to keep them at a certain length emotionally, because I realize that it really drains my own happiness. That person once told me that they like to be alone whenever they feel down in order to protect others from their negative feelings, unfortunately that doesn't work for me. I want them to talk and open up to me, and I know that I can't force them to do so, so I try to be as patient as I can. Whenever they decide that they do want to talk to me, it makes me feel happy and relieved, but this person's mood changes so often that it totally confuses my mental state as well. I have a theory that this person never really had any real friends and always had to deal with their emotions alone, so they are not really used to being an important part of someone's life. As they have learned to get along on their own, they might feel as if I'm smothering them, which I am trying to avoid of course.
Did anyone ever had any similar experiences and gathered some ideas how one can emotionally detach oneself from someone like this without ignoring them and getting out of touch completely?
I also feel like I might be highly sensitive, especially when it comes to emotions.. so yeah, this is the reason why I'm writing this. The whole situation is really exhausting, and I know it's not the other person's fault...
