High IQ - poor emotional hygiene, excessive rationalizing of emotions

Just look at international corporations (of which only goal is to maximize profits) like food industry, food from supermarket is literal poison, e.g. superprocessed foods will cause chronic pain on 100% was proven, it is just matter of time. Just look at china milk scandal, or something. Regulations great, but there is also ton of corruption and they avoid regulations to using different mixes of substances so particular regulated substances doesn't show. In china milk scandal 2 ceos were even given penalty of death because they poised thousands ppl, probably more...

These elites are batshit crazy and would give your children on meat, even if they could make 1$ more. These are psychopaths which govern this world... Millions, if no billions suffer, because of couple ppl like this (I want you to think about that for a moment!!!) In future if mind will be transferable to a computer, elites will use infinite torture as means of dissuation and blackmail...

Sad thing is average people have already tough lives and barely get by, not everyone is ambitions, or wants to solve world problems and ppl live from hand to mouth, or don't want promotion etc. I think most average people in western countries know life is anything but fair and they just go on hedonistic treadmill - fuck everything! And geniuses don't get into politics, because they lose themselves in art, or because they can't as society doesn't accept them... People realize that other peopel doing that, so they are more hesitant to help, why you should help, if people which are better of than you do nothing - "they tell themselves" and who can blame them. Unfortunately if nothing is done, these elites will be gods like in Altered Carbon and they will be able torture you for trillions years at best!!! Do you want this for yourself, or your children?????

Back to femisnim yes: I mean, what is that? There is already humanism, you mean humanism! As normal rational people don't want to oppress, or use women. Men and women are supposed to be a friends, like 2 sides of a same coin!!! But riches completely brainwashed whole world! They create discord, destroy communities. Look at marriage rates, because emasculated generation of men and women have it now better than ever (mans are failing college in 3x rates) today generation of women will have more power than anyone!

Schopenhauer once said:
“I have not yet spoken my last word about women. I believe that if a woman succeeds in withdrawing from the mass, or rather raising herself from above the mass, she grows ceaselessly and more than a man.”
― Arthur Schopenhauer, Schopenhauer and the Wild Years of Philosophy ".

Women because neoliberatioms became individualistic and prefer carrer before family, kids and relations, freezing their eggs and what not.

Also men as it really hard today when dating, not only women told them they wants sensitive men, they don't actually like them and use them (not always don't take this literally) but as women are now adopting mens' qualities they dating standards are even higher. But you can't find it anywhere and then "many" women wonder where all men go... That's why taylor swift prepares young generation of women for loneliness, if you ask me she is low IQ trash degenerate... Young people listen hours to music and learn from roles mostly and their idols e.g. in that black mirror episode... But we live in desentivized society, people are more, not sure if it was this: Why were the 90s so great? Why did It end? Will It ever come back?

But because global warning, death of god (nihilism) which can be actually path to finding values, but many people go on hedonistic treadmil, cynicism, because we work with mind mostly now and move into cities number of mental disorders increased rapidly... Crazy progressivism and so much more... So yeah it all plays to riches to make people cynical to each other, individualism destroy communities, marriage and what not... And society can be ruled just by 2 things: fear, or hope...

Back to dating: e.g. young men in bar has a nice friendly chat with a young women and after he says: he will pay for her and she gets insanely mad on him for nothing... Because they don't want gentlemens, view it as condescending, or patronizing and women don't like gentlemens' in general, well they say they do, or rather said: but don't like - long story...

And in this insane PC and progressive insanity, no one knows what to expect anymore from other gender, so everything is absolutely crazy!!!!!! Why would man take women to back from party to her house, if she can report is a rape - it is stupid in this age, but it seems you can't even talk to women on street (especially at night) otherwise you are perceived as some weirdo... And these are couple examples from millions...

so some people play game to get cheap sex, some go MGTOW, there are little families started, marriage is low as ever. Society is at collapse! Elon Musk: Declining Birth Rates 'Biggest' Threat to Civilization

I forget what I was talking about there are trillions tangents from this...

So yeah if I see what is going between genders, so much cruelty and stupidity and worst thing is all of it is just purposeless suffering induced by rich so they can get even more rich, while poor are getting poorer!!! Ppl with AS are antisocial, because they see what people do to each other over nothing basically... You could begin grasp extent of this suffering... Of what is happening, normal people can't even keep up with the world changing and there is a lot of misinformation to confused them...

1. create issue/take advantage of societal issues like LGBT
2. spread fake news, confuse peoples minds, turn them against each other(cause dysphoria and extreme suffering to people, which just want nothing more except to be happy)...
3. buy lgbt clincs (these operations are costly as hell) profit...

Canada is most crazy in terms of progressivism and LGBT, court overules parents decision to not allow 14 years kid hormonal therapy, while sex changes and remains dynamic and gets more stable in 20ties...

Back to feminism: so yeah I think both genders should be equal not make big thing of our biological differences... Afterall these are what makes us liek each other... Best thing is that everyone chooses what he wants to be, but we shouldn't force it and discriminate to achieve these crazy ideas...

To add: even more effect have societal norms, than biological differences...

Also stupid things: thing that womens have to be 50/50 in STEM is total nonsense, both genders have different preferences. They shouldn't be prevented from doing so, or being discriminated, but there absolutely doesn't need to be 50/50 everyone, everyone is good at something else/likes something else... Ppl are just totally batshit crazy and gullible and believe everything - like reads news on FB, while it is by definition trying to manipulate you and feeds you what you want and censors news from sources which are uncomfortable and is full of fake news...

Problem is Einsten (and it was already back then) said it is near impossible to make sense of news for average person! While today like 90% of media in US are owned by 6 corporations and if people don't believe one source, they will go to another fringe news and believe everything, just because it says opposite. People are raionalizing, we had to judge people instantly otherwise we would die and how we sold our opinions to others defined our ability for survival not ability to come to logical conclusions. It doesn't matter if your side is false, only if you can sell it to other people as true for surival...

more existential feelings E.g.
- when I thought in past about what I Am: I got most weird feelings EVER, like something washed over my whole body in 1-2 seconds and like I would be whole different universe, or my perception radically changed - it is just indescribable

PS: I wish I could just upload my knowledge to everyone in the world at once... I don't give to all things same modalities and I just turned to tangents all the time... But if you don't agree, I can substantialize most of these claims. Also I don't mean everything literally. Again it is complicated, I read about each of these words thousands articles. I would have to find some studies and articles to explain, as I Am terrible at explaining and I can't possible remember every article I read, I have bad long-term memory, but I excel at rational thinki and logic. I get to arguments a lot with people, but that is usually, because I take shortcuts explain really poorly, while I mean it in different contentx and don't mention everything, because it would take 10000 pages to enumerate...

I don't know why I posted about this, I guess I needed to tell someone... Now you see I know about everything that existed modestly, on the surface, key issues, main things, or macroscopic level) but this is yet nothing. And that is with chronic pain yet and no speed reading, because already since 6 years because I have severe headaches, beack pain, spine pain, RSI, I couldn't read fast. 400~ WPm (without speed reading) and now I Am like near to demented from unhealthy lifestyle, insomnia and that accident with pills, because I had backpain and couldn't sleep even 5 days in a row... LOL I wonder where I could be, if I didn't destroy myself, gifted people usually just die, if you see the world how it is you don't survive. We OEs we just try to maintain homeostasis every second, that's 99.9% we are occupied basically...

I wish there was forums for OEs and existential boredom, there doesn't seem to be anything closer to a high level and I don't think I would get to mensa for social contact, certaintly now any time soon, because chronic pain....

Anyway I Am soooooo bored that I can't almost feel pain anymore (because making progress somewhat) and I AM getting stronger!!! And did a lot of progress recently... I just want learn 24/7 get to smallest amount of sleep possible and just do everything I can do help... Even if it is like 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000...1% and I think on 99.9% we are fucked unless >=230IQ genius is born ASAP. 200 IQ people have it tough, they end up going their own way usually, because of abuse from society and not ufortunately everyone wants to help... But if I can learn 24/7, then I don't really care about anything anymore....

And to add: I don't really want anything from anyone, or don't want to intrude my help, I offer things freely. I just care about truth... Because even if I saved 100 children from fire I would really feel anything (but I Am still compled to help, because everyone is slave of their emotions) as sad as it sounds, but it is true... So I don't have like some god complex, I see myself very realistically in terms of what I Am capable to do... And escaping myself existential boredom. Tho I have weird feeling, my inherent altruism (even if it is not altruism in authentic sense) is still worth to explore, that's why I need to learn about everything that exists and doesn't exists! You can't prove anything except: I Am therefore I exists!!! I Am empiricist open to all possibilities...

Also it is really complex and I can't even properly talk right now, so takes this with grain of salt how I mean it exactly...

Imagine if you listen to something like this reading philosophy whole day, it is really deep!!! https://youtu.be/hz5OSYnKE_k?t=4108
When I think of all people that ever existed, like james siddis one of biggest geniuses ever and his parents tried to used him. It is so sad, genial ppl suffer so much, society don't know how to use them and belittles them and isolates them! Is agains them from spite: "all great spirits encountered opposition from mediocre mind" - Einsten. It is so sad honestly, it is sad way to live with IQ 140, I read soo much I saw everything every small situation that even happened EVERYYYYYYYYYY! LITERALLY EVERY ONE!!!

To give some examples:
- when I think like, I will die and I will never ever know reason behind existence of universe and listen to deep music, it is so overwhelming. Sometimes it feels really awful and sometimes it feels like best days of my life, being free and allowed to experience pure beauty free of suffering!
- or like thing there could exists in theory your soulmate somewhere, but you are too far and never meat
- or like some entity just made us so we stare in awe as it whirls in its prodigious splendour: The basis of the universe may not be energy or matter but information
- or if we are in simulation (I was really hurt crying hours because of this, that i couldn't even cry anymore, how anyone could do that, that would be so cruel) imagine insane suffering for nothing...

OMG I really written what I had my mind I can't belive this and I don't even feel shame anymore, maybe because I A msleepy...

I don't EVEN know, anything doesn't make sense anymore, I Am all permutations that ever existed?!

to add: I was editing post#90 when edit expired: one post expired - Pastebin.com

BTW I wonder what people will do on mars until 2080 (if earth falls) and even then you didn't solve the biggest problem: humanity...

Also one important thing, even relationships, gender dynamics and biology behind love is really shitty... We can make it better, as we have capacity to change ourselves and better ourselves! And escape evolution, this would not help me to feel about about love tho. Because FW... And in real world: there is no fairness and justice and from million reasons I Am sure - even I got a girlfriend - that is actually really easy (at least in theory). I Am extremely rational, self-cognizant if that is the right word and know how to improve myself and in things... I couldn't enjoy it, because there will be always differences between people! And If I had girlfriend someone else wouldn't, as it is zero sum game. And this would leave just sour taste in my mouth... I see too many shitty things how they are in the world and why... I Am too observant to this...

Life is indeed futile striving for nothing paved with road of thorns... So much suffering in the world because boredom and ego!!!

Trick is to destroy ego and then use it in moderation, when you go back... https://www.reddit.com/r/philosophy/comments/s5kh2k/there_is_no_you_impermanence_and_the_nonself_in/

And even if we can change our world and better ourselves, I still don't see how could I enjoy it and in this feeling I never relented! From various reasons... Also I don't think life won't be ever fair, it is just sadistic farce...

And I fucking my sleep schedule again 5 AM this is hopeless - I Am so ultimately bored, there is little difference between me a prisoners on max, probably not on isolation tho... Life is like cruel joke and a prison: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NBrce-ZHi0&t=186s

I just realized something so profound:

1. Boredom is the root of all evil – the despairing refusal to be oneself. – Soren Kierkegaard

Problem is you can't fully realize to be authentic in a society (as Kierkegaard says himself) at least you can get closer to true self Tearing down Maslow’s hierarchy: why self-actualization is impossible

We play constantly games with other people and play roles even with ourselves from first link!

Still problem is I couldn't be really authentic! Because FW is illusion, because I know what I Am is just illusion completely and I Am not really that!

This is exactly why I Am the most bored person in the world I dare to say: because I Am too real (authentic now in sense that I see world closer to what it is and don't lie to myself), I have absolute no defensive mechanisms, I can't lie myself at all!!! I always cared about truth and fairness... There is a list almost like everything was so fitting (explained much more than ADHD for sure, but I still have ADHD cooccuring, because I have hyperfocus all symptoms of ADHD - not sure yet, because I didn't know I was OEs until couple months ago) Misdiagnosis of Gifted and Talented Children - Child-Testing

Aaaand BTW Synecdoche takes loves as: only 2 equally lonely people can love each other, which I feel is true for some people! Also common disaster makes it stronger, it is understandable, after disaster we feel more pleasure. Pleasure enables pain and in opposite in a sense. I always had feeling like true love isn't possible unless to people went with too much shit together, otherwise it wouldn't mean anything!!! And Slavoj Zizek had also interesting takes, but perhaps too Hegelian on me, hegel was refuted later and Schopenhauer heavily criticized him: that his works very pseudoscientific trash (can't find link now)... But every philosopher has probably couple 1-2 things that are good, so you should never reject anything before you evaluate it!!! Don't know hegel so I don't know yet...

Anyway there is nothing more empty than love: because of oxytocin and neurotrasmitters, just so people stay together to benefit survival of an offspring... You literally become addicted to your partner LOL How romantic love is like addiction

Also I just realized: I always thought I have really really bad long-term memory. But (especially when I get tuned to theta waves) and someone tellls me something interesting I start speaking quickly and remember facts I didn't read 5 years about... And I remember articles if I want to get access to them. Problem is I engaged in lot of binge reading (when we mass consume and don't have to recall info ofte, our memory worsens) and I have also insanely multi-tasked because I was boredom and couldn't help it and because headaches already after 5 minutes of reading. It is so bad now I have trouble reading even 1 sentece many times, or paragrahp, but it can get better. Problem is I don't have really any room for mistakes and boredom still has huge grip over me...

So yeah even I have like really bad memory long term still, I remember crux of that issue and guess my brain is like: I can access it I don't need to remember it, but I still could improve it, it is still really bad. But it is also advantage, because I see things always from new light, more you know the more you become biased, because you take pre-existing knowledge at face value, so if new thoughts are congruent with are pre-existent opinions we don't go full epistemological many times. Also no one is invulenerable to biases including high IQ people (as each brain process info differently and real world is too complex for no biases, as they allow us to survive) but they have more chance to correct and spot them. Also they are modest and learn from other people and open to possibilities.

I feel so weird, already when I was 11 I retrospectively remember that I felt like world wasn't real (well that was defense mechanism against cruelty that happens in the world, but now I don't have any)... It is so weird, it is like time freezes sometimes for me, when I experience something profound. Also what if I AM hallucinating another people, this is also weird idea (solipsism) kinda sad... It is soo weird I Am trying soo hard my years to pin these feelings, but I can't tell what they mean these deepest not even close!!!

Maybe literally I can sense time somehow, because time is not moving it is illusion (arrow of time) cause by quantum entanglement. I see my life like pictures or something (not literally but I Don't know how to describe it, it is probably just derealization)... It is really weird, some places are more profound like this than other, either etches to my episodic memory, or there are these weird moments...

Also: I Am not really against feminism, but modern feminism sucks (corporate neoliberal)... It is possible, or even probably that if women rules the world, it would reduce suffering and eliminate wars! Female supremacy as it sounds perhaps like hot fantasy: not everyone is made for that and modern feminism is no longer about womens's rights, because they already have them mostly (main etc.)
1. it was colonized by the rich (neolibs) also to add: it backfired as with metoo etc. they deserve it...
2. it is about women supremacy (as genders are fighting each other and no one wants to be loser and there is a lot of spite)...
3. it is about a lot of things today, it is branched off so much that it doesn't make even sense anymore and contradictory many times and hurts also women

Also not sure how I would about 50/50 in goverment, when you want to have both genders in sufficent amount, as opposite see their issue onyl from second hand perspective. But people should get positions because skill, not because they need one more women or men. Really not sure about this political thing...

I wanted mention also point 2. if I Am extensively talking about it, it is practically the reality already. As today generations of women will have more power than ever before. I just hope it doesn't turn to something worse than gender wars... Both genders should be allies, it is dumb to say one gender is superior, because in biological terms it doesn't make sense! We have to cooperate to survive, otherwise civilization collapses and men are not only which suffer (depressed in teenage girls is even worse, althought not more suicides)!!! Not everyone wants to be forced to serve women, just saying, but today world is really crazy... Also objectification of women doesn't help and some men turn to cheap sex and beyond that are useless... As every revolution has counter revolution... But note: without men listening to women feminism wouldn't be possible in patriarchal society...

There is so much that creates hostility between genders today it is crazy! Also wokeness and LGBT, femisnism is everywhere even where it doesn't have to be, that is the crazy. Like in hollywood and directors can't even be creative! That's why everyone is really hostille towards each other, there is currently like trillions of issues in the world with this... Actually majority of population doesn't like it, that is just a few people in silicon valley and rich left-progressive, which dominates online, created censorship and to oppress majority! People shouldn't assume worst instantly...

ALSO: I AM informavore, if I stop learning I would go crazy, I Am literally feeding on negative entropy: Informavore - Wikipedia

Am I real right now, I feel unreal ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ too overwhelmed by every atom which ever existed in relation to every other...

Well but again I can escape boredom in learning 24/7 but I can't even get there in the first place, if I Don't do something soon I will be demented from unhealthy lifestyle like this... !!!