High Conflict Personality

Mar 2022
16
7
21801
What is COB? Chief of Board? Oh, it looks like the chips are falling. Ok, here's the deal,
I've used this format for myself several times, at a 13 year job at Universal Orlando ('90 - '03)
and when I taught Air Conditioning and Refrigeration at Remington College in Memphis ('11 - 13').

You have the opportunity for a fresh start for everyone and you should plan your game accordingly.
We have a little time to explore what might work for you, all things considered, but I believe it is doable.
There are always options and one is how to influence the behaviors of those around you by influencing your
own behavior first. That is the lynch pin; self-management. I would have to be a little more familiar with
the internal hierarchy to get a layout of the "stage setting." I suppose the first question is, as President,
will you be "above" this guy? Like precocious children, the effort albeit taxing, can be minimized to the
least amount of energy required... so your stamina may be a mitigating factor.

Let's start here and see where it goes, eh?
COB= Chairman of the Board
As president I will preside over the membership meetings, can appoint committee chairs, sign checks, represent the club locally, and have a vote on the board. No real "power" over other members exist. It just has duties and I am in a position to influence as the presider.
My antagonist wants to use one of the clubs benefits as a revenue source on the backs of a group of members. He wants them to pay for labor for the club house being open although all members of the club can use the facility. I see it as devaluing membership at a time when we have huge growth in membership. We are trying for a slight increase in dues and initiation, but he wants to put it on the backs of the most successful(in fund raising) in the club. We are coming from a period of 6 years ago we had out of control (mostly capital spending)spending and weak balance sheet. Just started a capital spending freeze(we are caught up) to increase reserve for a possible club house upgrade. Now we have a strong balance sheet, spending under control(except for wages since covid). The trajectory of the club is phenomenal. We hosted a national event last year and will have another next year. Our treasurer(for 8 years) is a CPA and says he has never seen the club in such great shape. In spite of this the member creates crisis to increase the fees on one benefit(our biggest source of revenue besides dues). Early last year it was the equipment donated by members 4 years ago was going to need replacing(20 year life) Last spring it was the septic was bad crisis and would need a $40K replacement(it checked out fine by professional inspection). In the fall it was the wage increase crisis. Now it is the inflation crisis. He cries wolf in the face of a strengthening balance sheet and advice from our CPA treasurer we do not need to increase fees. All this made me question his motives. Addiction to conflict is all I can find.
 
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Mar 2022
31
6
Jonesboro, AR
COB= Chairman of the Board
As president I will preside over the membership meetings, can appoint committee chairs, sign checks, represent the club locally, and have a vote on the board. No real "power" over other members exist. It just has duties and I am in a position to influence as the presider.
My antagonist wants to use one of the clubs benefits as a revenue source on the backs of a group of members. He wants them to pay for labor for the club house being open although all members of the club can use the facility. I see it as devaluing membership at a time when we have huge growth in membership. We are trying for a slight increase in dues and initiation, but he wants to put it on the backs of the most successful(in fund raising) in the club. We are coming from a period of 6 years ago we had out of control (mostly capital spending)spending and weak balance sheet. Just started a capital spending freeze(we are caught up) to increase reserve for a possible club house upgrade. Now we have a strong balance sheet, spending under control(except for wages since covid). The trajectory of the club is phenomenal. We hosted a national event last year and will have another next year. Our treasurer(for 8 years) is a CPA and says he has never seen the club in such great shape. In spite of this the member creates crisis to increase the fees on one benefit(our biggest source of revenue besides dues). Early last year it was the equipment donated by members 4 years ago was going to need replacing(20 year life) Last spring it was the septic was bad crisis and would need a $40K replacement(it checked out fine by professional inspection). In the fall it was the wage increase crisis. Now it is the inflation crisis. He cries wolf in the face of a strengthening balance sheet and advice from our CPA treasurer we do not need to increase fees. All this made me question his motives. Addiction to conflict is all I can find.
Ok... message received and I feel a little stupid for not catching the acronym.
I'm going to have to table my efforts for this evening and will pick this up tomorrow morning.
Not knowing if you're on Facebook or not, I have a business page called The Interactor and
it's the basis for all I speak of. It's a theory... and because FB posts chronologically, you'll
have to search down for the post about "There's no 'I' in TEAM?" I'm presently developing
a webpage that will organize my "stuff" a lot better. Take a look at that post and some others
and I will be happy to redress this in the morning. Fair enough? And, thanks.
 
Mar 2022
16
7
21801
Ok... message received and I feel a little stupid for not catching the acronym.
I'm going to have to table my efforts for this evening and will pick this up tomorrow morning.
Not knowing if you're on Facebook or not, I have a business page called The Interactor and
it's the basis for all I speak of. It's a theory... and because FB posts chronologically, you'll
have to search down for the post about "There's no 'I' in TEAM?" I'm presently developing
a webpage that will organize my "stuff" a lot better. Take a look at that post and some others
and I will be happy to redress this in the morning. Fair enough? And, thanks.
Yes I have been to the FB page. Trying to get a grasp.
 
Mar 2022
31
6
Jonesboro, AR
Yes I have been to the FB page. Trying to get a grasp.
Being as I'm new to this site, my question is, are we
having private or public conversation about this?
If public, how to we go private?

Regarding the Interactor, it may look complicated,
however, it can be easily described in five minutes.
 
Mar 2022
16
7
21801
Being as I'm new to this site, my question is, are we
having private or public conversation about this?
If public, how to we go private?

Regarding the Interactor, it may look complicated,
however, it can be easily described in five minutes.
You have a video?

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk
 
Mar 2022
31
6
Jonesboro, AR
You have a video?

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk
Unfortunately, no, not at this time. I just started developing
a webpage for The Interactor. Is there any chance we can
speak over the phone? I have been working this theory for
twenty years now and... it's just comes off easier to talk
then to write, plus my fingertips are split and healing up
from cold weather work.

A phone call would at least allow me to tell you what
your looking at, and then any follow up messages
would make more sense.

I have to take care of some personal business right
now for about an hour so I'm stepping away but will
be back. I have spent the last day or so considering
the necessary elements for your scenario.
 
Mar 2022
16
7
21801
Unfortunately, no, not at this time. I just started developing
a webpage for The Interactor. Is there any chance we can
speak over the phone? I have been working this theory for
twenty years now and... it's just comes off easier to talk
then to write, plus my fingertips are split and healing up
from cold weather work.

A phone call would at least allow me to tell you what
your looking at, and then any follow up messages
would make more sense.

I have to take care of some personal business right
now for about an hour so I'm stepping away but will
be back. I have spent the last day or so considering
the necessary elements for your scenario.
I am still recovering from surgery. Give a few days

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk
 
Jul 2021
783
103
London
I am dealing with a HCP who I will have a lot of unavoidable contact with for the next 14 months. He has been an issue for this organization for 5 years. Took me several months to figure him out. Could never find the motive for the very same actions repeated over and over either thru proxies or himself with high reaction to several members of the organization. In a particularly chaotic meeting a few weeks ago when he and 2 people he has roped into his sphere were extremely disruptive. I started asking others what his motive could be. It really made no sense to me how that could be the motive as the actions lead no where near that supposed goal. The supposed goal itself is not bad, but pretty ambitious. I ask others if that could be his motivation.
Apparently me asking about that supposed goal got back to him. He was infuriated and called me over to a leadership group to "nip it in the bud" He asked me if I was asking others about said goal. I said absolutely and lit into him with full list of crazy crap I had personally witnessed over the prior 10 months with others in the group either agreeing with me or had no clue to what they were witnessing. I was firm, calm, and rolled thru it like Grant took Richmond. He denied any misbehavior although proven and known by others there. He just got quite.
Today he put an email out stating the whole issue was caused me and another who I got the "motive" from, not his behavior over the last 5 years. I know I should not have confronted him. I know continuing to confront him will only help him get his rocks off, but his actions are detrimental to the organization. What do I do?
I've found out recently how these people get hired, which backed what I had already experienced, it is just the first time it happens you don't know how it happens, but the second time you have the confirmation. My advice is if you can tolerate abuse and a tumor and death, to stay, but if you care for yourself too much, then leave. You are not forced to interact with this person, and don't give an explanation. Likely this person has profound psychological issues, narcissistic or psychopathic paranoia which can lead them to criminal acts against you. They are "protected". I was offered protection by someone like that, "offering protection" is a synonym of joining the mafia in mafia language, we learnt this during organisation corruption class, having worked on a few projects with many social scientists on organised crime, I know this, Japanese mafia is horrific and generally they are backed by the Celtic and British one, so you must avoid these individuals. This happens in the US too, thanks to your police being really bad as in a serious country if a policeman received a call from a mobster they would arrest the mobster, not abuse the victim of the mobster. If you are forced into their office, excuse yourself and take all your things and go, these "people" only know mafia, they don't understand normal communication, they are not civilised, they are barbaric, and criminals, and they have experiences of getting their way for many years. These people are currently everywhere thanks to the pandemic all this is more visible than in the past. In the past you didn't have this situation as they were hidden, the pandemic has exposed them.
 
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Mar 2022
31
6
Jonesboro, AR
I've found out recently how these people get hired, which backed what I had already experienced, it is just the first time it happens you don't know how it happens, but the second time you have the confirmation. My advice is if you can tolerate abuse and a tumor and death, to stay, but if you care for yourself too much, then leave. You are not forced to interact with this person, and don't give an explanation. Likely this person has profound psychological issues, narcissistic or psychopathic paranoia which can lead them to criminal acts against you. They are "protected". I was offered protection by someone like that, "offering protection" is a synonym of joining the mafia in mafia language, we learnt this during organisation corruption class, having worked on a few projects with many social scientists on organised crime, I know this, Japanese mafia is horrific and generally they are backed by the Celtic and British one, so you must avoid these individuals. This happens in the US too, thanks to your police being really bad as in a serious country if a policeman received a call from a mobster they would arrest the mobster, not abuse the victim of the mobster. If you are forced into their office, excuse yourself and take all your things and go, these "people" only know mafia, they don't understand normal communication, they are not civilised, they are barbaric, and criminals, and they have experiences of getting their way for many years. These people are currently everywhere thanks to the pandemic all this is more visible than in the past. In the past you didn't have this situation as they were hidden, the pandemic has exposed them.
A little dour, don't you think? :)
 
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Jul 2021
783
103
London
A little dour, don't you think? :)
I think it's more of a self-preservation and survival instinct, if we had to trust psychopaths and "narcissists" they would be the only ones left on the face of the earth, and eventually we'd all go extinct, so I am not sure I view it as dour, I view it as a positive way to deal with things. Avoiding trouble and trouble-makers before they find you.
 
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