High Conflict Personality

Mar 2022
16
7
21801
From my experience corporate mediators work for the benefit of the company and
their only goal is to re-establish the peace regardless of the cost or who's right and
who's wrong. They don't even focus on what is best for the company, they just want
to keep things quiet... which is not resolution. Of course, this statement cannot apply
to all corporations and all mediators.

You are correct in that the friction will continue until some level of resolution is achieved.
The friction is caused by the two opposing forces on the common, or shared interaction.
Those forces, from my perspective, are magnetic in nature and don't pull against each other
but pull on that process which is taking place in the interactive gap. When the opposing forces
become strong enough, the interaction will snap apart, release its energy, and cause an atmospheric
disturbance which generates noise. When it comes to that plane of social interaction,
that noise usually sounds like this... "Ah... F you!" hahaha, although it's really not funny.

Corporate policy for dispute resolution, like all corporate policies, are guidelines set up for
those who do not know how to behave appropriately by themselves. It's a soft-toothed
reference document that when "push comes to shove" turns into "Policies of Convenience,"
and we're led to believe those policies apply to all employees under which they govern,
however, I've seen it, and I've been victim to it.

So what can a person do? Correct, give it a try. It is said that when you have nothing,
you have nothing to lose. Enter the dispute resolution with an open heart and mind,
tell your truth, monitor the results, and then let the chips fall where they may.
However, a mediator is not the ONLY resolution, just one we've been led to believe
is effective and appropriate. It is a real challenge to have those policies applied to
everyone under its govern and it's very frustrating to see when it doesn't.

Of course, we all wish the best outcome for "Glendonboy," which is why we reply to
his call for input, advice, direction or whatever you wish to call it.
Thanks. This not a workplace issue. It is a 501(c) club. No mediators. We are left to our own devices.

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Mar 2022
16
7
21801
As I coached myself in similar circumstances, I tried to maintain the posture
of being the most adult in those interactions. Catering to the Junior High shenanigans
will definitely relieve some stress, but it will only serve to make things worse.
Yes, I "needled" my adversaries a little bit... with psychotic and surgical precision.

And, try to have a little faith that everything happens for a reason whether or not
you ever find out that reason. Two years ago, a similar fracas was put in my face.
I did my best, exposed the corporate policy administrative bias, then quit.

The day before my last day, and completely without advance planning, my M.I.L.
moved in and I instantly became her home health care agent. I did a 180 from
what I was to what I am and have been. So, who won? I think I did.
You are correct. I have warned myself I could bec ome like him. Hooked on the conflict in this process. There really is no win. If I step down he wins, take him headon he wins, ignor him and he may get what he wants and he wins. I have people who are depending and supporting me to stop him. I can't let them down. If I let them down they and I lose. If this kills me, my family loses.

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Mar 2022
31
6
Jonesboro, AR
Thanks. This not a workplace issue. It is a 501(c) club. No mediators. We are left to our own devices.

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk
Ok, I inferred "club" to mean the good ol' boys club, not a Social Club.

And, ah... I see, no mediators... okay.

So, if you wish to engage this antagonist, I can lend some insight
on the topic of tactical and strategic interactions that you may
find useful; tactics and strategies that I prefer to think of a tools
I would rather not use, but will if I deem necessary.

"The power of insight only serves to disrupt the balance and/or
status quo... sometimes for the better, other and often times
not so much."

I believe I can show you how to "stick and move." Some of this
sh-t makes me laugh because to me, human behavior has become
easily predictable. My philosophies come from a theory I compiled
and is available for viewing my non-monetized Facebook page,
The Interactor.

You can have some fun and take your shots on goal with this person,
but you have to be careful and willing to accept any consequences
that my come your way.

"Jack talk Thai?" (Ref: Meet the Parents)

Best regards,
Norman
 
Mar 2022
31
6
Jonesboro, AR
You are correct. I have warned myself I could bec ome like him. Hooked on the conflict in this process. There really is no win. If I step down he wins, take him headon he wins, ignor him and he may get what he wants and he wins. I have people who are depending and supporting me to stop him. I can't let them down. If I let them down they and I lose. If this kills me, my family loses.

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk
First of all... lighten up yourself a bit.

I would like to help you clarify your perspective before you
take any actions of negative consequence. But, I have to
go for now and will return to address this a.s.a.p.
 
Mar 2022
16
7
21801
Ok, I inferred "club" to mean the good ol' boys club, not a Social Club.

And, ah... I see, no mediators... okay.

So, if you wish to engage this antagonist, I can lend some insight
on the topic of tactical and strategic interactions that you may
find useful; tactics and strategies that I prefer to think of a tools
I would rather not use, but will if I deem necessary.

"The power of insight only serves to disrupt the balance and/or
status quo... sometimes for the better, other and often times
not so much."

I believe I can show you how to "stick and move." Some of this
sh-t makes me laugh because to me, human behavior has become
easily predictable. My philosophies come from a theory I compiled
and is available for viewing my non-monetized Facebook page,
The Interactor.

You can have some fun and take your shots on goal with this person,
but you have to be careful and willing to accept any consequences
that my come your way.

"Jack talk Thai?" (Ref: Meet the Parents)

Best regards,
Norman
Sorry about the miscommunication. Will check it out. Got surgery tomorrow. Will give me something to mull over laying in bed until the next board meeting the 16th. Thanks Norman!!!
 
  • Like
Reactions: The Interactor
Mar 2022
31
6
Jonesboro, AR
Sorry about the miscommunication. Will check it out. Got surgery tomorrow. Will give me something to mull over laying in bed until the next board meeting the 16th. Thanks Norman!!!
You are absolutely welcome. Good luck with your surgery!!!

My son once told me that my ex-wife was having surgery and I said,
"Well, it looks like that new brain finally came in." B'hahahaa...
 
Mar 2022
31
6
Jonesboro, AR
Ok, I'm back and have some time. I've copy and pasted your post so I can have it
in front of me to help me keep my thoughts in line. I really liked your comment about
cutting through him like Grant through Richmond... GREAT VISUAL!!! haha!!!

Anyway... moving on,

You are correct. I have warned myself I could bec ome like him. Hooked on the conflict in this process.
That's a healthy, reasonable, and rational fear. If you're not careful, you just might end up like him.
And, by facing and considering those consequences before acting, will help you head in a positive
direction when you commit to the (irreversible) action. I can only tell you that there is a magnetic
influence present and it is defined by the initial perspective of the Interactants. We can explore more
about this later, if you wish, at your pace and direction.


There really is no win. If I step down he wins, take him headon he wins, ignor him and he may get what he wants and he wins.
I have found myself in the apparently no-win scenario several times and always to my dismay
as I find the no-win scenario avoidable and unnecessary... but if I feel like I'm there... I'm there.
Here's my philosophy on no-win's... go for the tie. And really try to define what there is to be won.
How tangible is the prize and what are the real consequences of losing. (Continued below...)


I have people who are depending and supporting me to stop him. I can't let them down. If I let them down they and I lose.
Here's the part that caught my attention and forgive my delivery as I tend not to sugar-coat things.
First and foremost, inappropriate expectations lead to disappointment, so what we're going to try
to do here is reset your initial perspective by telling you some hard-core sh-t to get you thinking
about this stuff. Again, take a little latitude with my delivery...

1. Who appointed you "Champion of the People?" You did... "I can't let them down."
Whoa, whoa, whoa... not that it can't be done, but you'd better be of sound mind and body if you're
going to attempt such a thing and put all that pressure on yourself. The answer is to add the
word "try" to every goal-oriented sentence. By doing so, you will never suffer a failure because
you always tried!!! Allow your brain to process what victories come your way and you may be
surprised by the results. Each of us is "mostly" responsible for our own destinies. You are not
responsible for taking on the problems of others, when you, me, we, each have our own issues
to deal with.
2. I had co-workers come up to me quietly and tell me of their support. Without going into further
definition, I thanked them for that support and also told them to keep their distance and just
watch the show. As a champion, you must always protect the innocent. If I win, we all win...
if I lose, only I lose.


If this kills me, my family loses.
If this kills you, then it will be because you over-invested emotionally into the outcome and foreseeable
consequences. I would say that the only thing worth fighting for is your own life. You may wish
to put your life in jeopardy and sacrifice the remainder of your existence for someone, but that
person had better be worth it.


Now for some strategies and tactics. You ready for this? :)

Crap... I have to move on to some other business for now but want to get
back to the strategies and tactics. As for go for the tie, the story and lesson
are well-told in the Star Trek Next Generations episode "Peak Performance."
Data can't beat his opponent by "trying to win," instead he changes his
perspective to match his opponents move, one move at a time. Data maintains
the balance of power until his opponent realizes that HE can't win and concedes.

I'll try to get back to this a.s.a.p.
 
Mar 2022
16
7
21801
Ok, I'm back and have some time. I've copy and pasted your post so I can have it
in front of me to help me keep my thoughts in line. I really liked your comment about
cutting through him like Grant through Richmond... GREAT VISUAL!!! haha!!!

Anyway... moving on,

You are correct. I have warned myself I could bec ome like him. Hooked on the conflict in this process.
That's a healthy, reasonable, and rational fear. If you're not careful, you just might end up like him.
And, by facing and considering those consequences before acting, will help you head in a positive
direction when you commit to the (irreversible) action. I can only tell you that there is a magnetic
influence present and it is defined by the initial perspective of the Interactants. We can explore more
about this later, if you wish, at your pace and direction.


There really is no win. If I step down he wins, take him headon he wins, ignor him and he may get what he wants and he wins.
I have found myself in the apparently no-win scenario several times and always to my dismay
as I find the no-win scenario avoidable and unnecessary... but if I feel like I'm there... I'm there.
Here's my philosophy on no-win's... go for the tie. And really try to define what there is to be won.
How tangible is the prize and what are the real consequences of losing. (Continued below...)


I have people who are depending and supporting me to stop him. I can't let them down. If I let them down they and I lose.
Here's the part that caught my attention and forgive my delivery as I tend not to sugar-coat things.
First and foremost, inappropriate expectations lead to disappointment, so what we're going to try
to do here is reset your initial perspective by telling you some hard-core sh-t to get you thinking
about this stuff. Again, take a little latitude with my delivery...

1. Who appointed you "Champion of the People?" You did... "I can't let them down."
Whoa, whoa, whoa... not that it can't be done, but you'd better be of sound mind and body if you're
going to attempt such a thing and put all that pressure on yourself. The answer is to add the
word "try" to every goal-oriented sentence. By doing so, you will never suffer a failure because
you always tried!!! Allow your brain to process what victories come your way and you may be
surprised by the results. Each of us is "mostly" responsible for our own destinies. You are not
responsible for taking on the problems of others, when you, me, we, each have our own issues
to deal with.
2. I had co-workers come up to me quietly and tell me of their support. Without going into further
definition, I thanked them for that support and also told them to keep their distance and just
watch the show. As a champion, you must always protect the innocent. If I win, we all win...
if I lose, only I lose.


If this kills me, my family loses.
If this kills you, then it will be because you over-invested emotionally into the outcome and foreseeable
consequences. I would say that the only thing worth fighting for is your own life. You may wish
to put your life in jeopardy and sacrifice the remainder of your existence for someone, but that
person had better be worth it.


Now for some strategies and tactics. You ready for this? :)

Crap... I have to move on to some other business for now but want to get
back to the strategies and tactics. As for go for the tie, the story and lesson
are well-told in the Star Trek Next Generations episode "Peak Performance."
Data can't beat his opponent by "trying to win," instead he changes his
perspective to match his opponents move, one move at a time. Data maintains
the balance of power until his opponent realizes that HE can't win and concedes.

I'll try to get back to this a.s.a.p.
I will be president in 6 weeks for a year, then COB for another year. The former COB has been holding this guy at bay for 5 years. A very strong man. He is worn out. Present COB is weak and done in 6 weeks. The President now is still working and can't devote the time. Last man standing.

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk
 
Mar 2022
31
6
Jonesboro, AR
I will be president in 6 weeks for a year, then COB for another year. The former COB has been holding this guy at bay for 5 years. A very strong man. He is worn out. Present COB is weak and done in 6 weeks. The President now is still working and can't devote the time. Last man standing.

Sent from my SM-G970U using Tapatalk
What is COB? Chief of Board? Oh, it looks like the chips are falling. Ok, here's the deal,
I've used this format for myself several times, at a 13 year job at Universal Orlando ('90 - '03)
and when I taught Air Conditioning and Refrigeration at Remington College in Memphis ('11 - 13').

You have the opportunity for a fresh start for everyone and you should plan your game accordingly.
We have a little time to explore what might work for you, all things considered, but I believe it is doable.
There are always options and one is how to influence the behaviors of those around you by influencing your
own behavior first. That is the lynch pin; self-management. I would have to be a little more familiar with
the internal hierarchy to get a layout of the "stage setting." I suppose the first question is, as President,
will you be "above" this guy? Like precocious children, the effort albeit taxing, can be minimized to the
least amount of energy required... so your stamina may be a mitigating factor.

Let's start here and see where it goes, eh?