Can't stop negative feelings

P

Paul

Apr 2022
3
2
Ohio
Hi new here...hope I'm posting this in the right forum

I pushed a stranger in a parking lot. The strange man followed me out to my car. Taughting and threatening me. He stood at the back of my car and would not let me leave(saying run me over I dare you!).
So I pushed him away...and then drove away calmly. The jerk called the cops on me !!
I get into trouble 1st time ever and now I have to attend anger management classes. WTH
I know life is NOT fair. but my head is spinning . I can't/don't know how to settle myself down...

Suggestions please -Paul
 
I

IveryKeys

Aug 2021
395
193
Texas, USA
Hey, Paul, I have a couple of questions before I answer your question. Why was the person taunting and threatening you ? Was this a business, place of work, apartment, where did this happen?
Now take a deep breath, and begin to list how you may have handled this better. Did this go through court, or if not, who ordered you to go to anger management classes? If it went through court, then a judge listened to the evidence brought before them and decided you were at fault and needed to attend these classes.
Do you have anger issues? Do you take your anger out on those around you? If so, I would like to recommend Cognitive Behavior Therapy for you as well as your classes. Perhaps something like Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Dummies, which you can probably find at your local library or used.
Anger generally originates in unfulfilled expectation, which are rooted in unrealistic expectations. If any of these symptoms describe you, then perhaps looking into CBT may be beneficial. (I believe it is beneficial either way).
To settle down, go for a walk, listen to relaxing music, talk to someone about your experience (clergy, counselor, trusted family member or friend), read a book, watch a movie, anything you generally find relaxing. Also, learn to forgive and forget. If this experience becomes a determining factor in your life then the person who blocked you in wins.
Best of luck to you,
Ivery
 
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P

Paul

Apr 2022
3
2
Ohio
IveryKeys said:
Hey, Paul, I have a couple of questions before I answer your question. Why was the person taunting and threatening you ? Was this a business, place of work, apartment, where did this happen?
Now take a deep breath, and begin to list how you may have handled this better. Did this go through court, or if not, who ordered you to go to anger management classes? If it went through court, then a judge listened to the evidence brought before them and decided you were at fault and needed to attend these classes.
Do you have anger issues? Do you take your anger out on those around you? If so, I would like to recommend Cognitive Behavior Therapy for you as well as your classes. Perhaps something like Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Dummies, which you can probably find at your local library or used.
Anger generally originates in unfulfilled expectation, which are rooted in unrealistic expectations. If any of these symptoms describe you, then perhaps looking into CBT may be beneficial. (I believe it is beneficial either way).
To settle down, go for a walk, listen to relaxing music, talk to someone about your experience (clergy, counselor, trusted family member or friend), read a book, watch a movie, anything you generally find relaxing. Also, learn to forgive and forget. If this experience becomes a determining factor in your life then the person who blocked you in wins.
Best of luck to you,
Ivery
Click to expand...
Yes it was a business. I was talking to manager privately. The man butted into our conversion. I told him to STFU !! he then followed me out to car. As stated above.
He followed through with more aggressively toward me.
He called cops...I'm not sure if my side of story is even told.
I just want to not keep thinking about it. I know The world is not fair.
I'm going to library today to check out that book.
I need to be Zen
-Paul
 
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U

Usedandabused

Jul 2021
783
103
London
Paul said:
Yes it was a business. I was talking to manager privately. The man butted into our conversion. I told him to STFU !! he then followed me out to car. As stated above.
He followed through with more aggressively toward me.
He called cops...I'm not sure if my side of story is even told.
I just want to not keep thinking about it. I know The world is not fair.
I'm going to library today to check out that book.
I need to be Zen
-Paul
Click to expand...
Ok, I can advise you on this as this is corruption. You need an attorney. Another alternative is filing a stalking complaint to the magistrate directly which is basically a complaint you write explaining the situation.
 
P

Paul

Apr 2022
3
2
Ohio
Usedandabused said:
Ok, I can advise you on this as this is corruption. You need an attorney. Another alternative is filing a stalking complaint to the magistrate directly which is basically a complaint you write explaining the situation.
Click to expand...
Yes corruption. But he filed/lied to cops 1st. I feel ashamed of myself for arguing with a stranger. My fault. That is my problem...I can't stop the negative thoughts looping around in my head.
It will cost more money to get justice. My "lawyer" said that. Hmm at least he's not trying to get extra money from me.
The core of this post was that I'm continually thinking about the whole ordeal. Can't stop negative racing thoughts.
So hard to think straight. I am Bipolar and medicated
-Paul
 
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I

IveryKeys

Aug 2021
395
193
Texas, USA
Exercise, or go for a brisk walk, which releases endorfins, listen to relaxing music, discuss your experience with someone, read a book, watch a movie, anything you generally find relaxing. I agree, there is never any conceivable reason to drop the "F" bomb in the work place. I assure you nothing good will ever come of that. BUT, now it is time to forgive yourself and get over it. Neither of us want this to be the determining factor in the rest of your life. Forgive yourself and the other person and get on with your life. We all make mistakes, it is what we do with those mistakes that determine who we are. Start looking ahead and plan the rest of your life. Where will you want to be in five years, and what will it take to get you there? Goals are long term plans which must be attainable. Objectives are the day to day building blocks which allow us to attain our goals. Have you found anything about Cognitive Behavior Therapy yet? You mentioned Zen above, meditation may also help. You have many resources available to you, use them to your advantage...
Best to you,
Iverh
 
U

Usedandabused

Jul 2021
783
103
London
Paul said:
Yes corruption. But he filed/lied to cops 1st. I feel ashamed of myself for arguing with a stranger. My fault. That is my problem...I can't stop the negative thoughts looping around in my head.
It will cost more money to get justice. My "lawyer" said that. Hmm at least he's not trying to get extra money from me.
The core of this post was that I'm continually thinking about the whole ordeal. Can't stop negative racing thoughts.
So hard to think straight. I am Bipolar and medicated
-Paul
Click to expand...
Sorry, the US is screwed up as well. I think I am leaving, because too much corruption for me too, especially in Academia. I don't even believe they are that smart now anymore. I was definitely wrong. Who knew love would turn to hate so quickly. If they come begging to you, don't help them, see how they mistreated you, give them the same back. I can only recommend you give them a taste of their own medicine. I mean, 0 morals, 0 ethics. Such a big country, with 50 states, and 0 jobs for a postdoc. They have hired all sorts of criminals and they don't give a nice person one. Then they are not worth our time. Sorry.
 
B

bonder80

Apr 2022
23
0
la
It is always very difficult to stop negative emotions in the head, especially after a losing streak. But also all the problems of this nature are due to the fact that people simply dont understand psychology and don't want to understand from where this all comes from, driving themselves more and more into a depressive state. Knowledge of psychology processes can help to find easy solution and only after reading An Example of Negative Reinforcement? - GOODMANCOACHING for a couple of days, you will know how to proceed and how to find the right way.
 
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